Another Day to Celebrate America

I heard that the average American will eat 4,500 calories on Thanksgiving day. How else could we possibly celebrate a day of thanks but through gluttany? As Jim Gaffigan put it,

"Thanksgiving, we didn't even try to come up with a tradition; the tradition is we overeat. 'Hey, how 'bout for thanksgiving we just eat a lot?' We do that every day. 'Oh...what if we eat a lot with people who annoy the hell out of us?'"

And eating with family makes many Americans more thankful for their independence from family. And what's the last peice of the puzzle? Beating the crap out of people: football. We watch football, we play football, we talk football--football is the day. These are the founding principles of our nation- independence, gluttany and explosive entertainment. Definitely a perfect fit as a national holiday in our blessed football.

So let's express our American patronage by eating, fighting and tackling this weekend. Such is the spirit of the day, and the spirit of our country.

10-2 Part III

I went to the Holy War yesterday thanks to an awesome friend who bailed me out on a night I was getting kicked out of the house anyways. Courtney was going to kick me out for the night so she could throw a bridal shower for Hilary, and Andrew came over to take me away to Salt Lake where we would brave freezing temperatures and BCS-thirsty Ute students waiting outside for ticket sales to open the next morning. It was a great night at the front of a very, very, long line, full of hijincks and hackey sacks and obnoxious drunk guys yelling at people and breaking the tent Andrew's brother rented. In the end we all came away with tickets to the Holy War, and my anticipation was fulfilled this weekend.
Andrew and Hilary got hitched down in Manti Friday morning, and I saw them again Saturday afternoon when I got to Rice-Eccles stadium. Andrew, his brother Patrick and I painted B-Y-U on our chests, and in the midst of the student section cheered loudly all night long. In the third quarter, Max Hall did something useful and ran into the endzone to cut the Utes' lead to three, 27-24. We were excited, but some Utah fans felt threatened. Some of these plastered students came over to us to give us a hard time, and ended up starting a little scuffle with other Ute fans in the row below us. Security showed up to take the troublemakers away, and all was well, except while they were there Max threw another interception and Utah scored a short time afterwards. The fourth quarter only got worse, and we shivered our chins to our chests in shame, finally leaving when the clock hit 00:00.

We lost; but what an experience! A Holy War in the Utah student section, half naked with paint on my chest and good friends with me--what a night! A lot of people were disappointed with the game, I was, too. But let's face it, Max got rattled and blew the game, it's as simple as that. He's still a good player. We actually outgained Utah in the game and converted both 4th down situations. Before his five interceptions against Utah he had just 7 the entire year. But last night he couldn't handle the heat, and that's that. He had two big wins at the end of last season, but let's look at his performance.

Against Utah in last year's Holy War, Max was 17-40 with an interception and a fumble. This year he was 21-41 with 5 INTs and a fumble. He pulled off one HUGE play on 4th and 18 to make it all count and gain the glory in a game Harvey Unga gained 141 yards rushing on 23 carries. That's a big game for a freshman back. This year? He gets just 15 carries...and amasses 116 yards! That's nearly 8 yards a carry! To take a line from the great Keyshawn Johnson, give him the d*** ball! Our other brother in our Tongan backfield, Fui Vakapuna, gained 36 yards on four touches- 8 yards a carry! Max ran for a career high 42 yards on 7 scrambles. Hey Bronco, RUN THE FREAKIN' BALL!!!!!!! Sure Max fell apart and practically giftwrapped the ball for Utah defenders at times, but more blame needs to be aimed at the Offensive Coordinator, Robert Anae, bless his heart, for calling disproportionately more pass than run plays against a Utah team we've ran well on in the past. Don't get me wrong, Max DID flounder the game with his poor performance, but running on first down would have helped out a few times, too.

The TCU game was a straight up disaster, but Max put up similar stats, 22-42, but only 2 INTs and 6 times sacked. I'm not going to dwell on that game, but the situation was bad there, too. In 2006 we beat a ranked TCU team in their house on our way to the MWC title, destroying their season. And this year they did it to us. Same thing with Utah. In 2006 we came into their house and came back with a drive in the last minute of the game to win on a miracle play while time expired. John Beck’s greatness left some bitter tastes in the mouths of away teams that year, and it came back to get us now.

So Max Hall was exposed as the not-so big game quarterback he actually already was. The defense actually came out to play after the half, too, holding Utah on consecutive drives, but in the fourth quarter, Max just couldn't keep the offense on the field long enough to keep us in the game.

Our third straight 10-2 isn't quite as good as it sounds. Our 9 wins against Div. 1-A teams came against teams with a combined 34-70 record. We lost to teams with a combined 22-2 record. Only one team we beat ended with a record over .500 (Air Force). We played close games against Washington (0-11), UNLV (4-8), and Colorado State (6-6). What's up with that? We got what we deserved. Sure our offense is pretty incredible, but the defense let our opponents in the game nearly every time. We now prepare for an invitation to the Armed Forces Bowl against Houston, Rice or Tulsa of Conference USA. BYU fans will whine and complain about things, but let's face it: we're getting what we played for.

We're only the one's we've been waiting for if we sit around waiting forever like those stupid democrats did

I never was too into McCain. "America, specifically you dumb republicans who let him win the primaries in the first place, John McCain is a loser. He lost to the village idiot of Texas in the 2000 primaries, how could anyone expect him to succeed against a young, charismatic, eloquent, intelligent intellectual. The only reason I wanted to see McCain in office is to provide parity in our branches of government. But he caught some bad breaks (Sarah Palin was a good idea at the time, but I think most Americans would actually prefer Tina Fey, now) and failed over (First debate) and over (Second debate) and over (Third debate) again to convince America that he was a better candidate than his opponent.
I hate the Yankees. I hate them with a passion. But when they won the world series in 1998, they deserved it. Their team earned it. Their opponent, the San Diego Padres, did not deserve it. Barack Obama beat John McCain. He beat him in fundraising, he beat him in debates, he beat him in the popular vote, he beat him in the electoral college vote. Obama knew he was going to win weeks ago. This wasn’t a Rocky Balboa fight that traded head shots and combinations and ended in the last round, the result we saw Tuesday night had been on deck for a while. Now I’m not a Democrat or liberal by any means, but John McCain got smoked like Michael Johnson in that exhibition 150 meter race against Donovan Bailey back in 1997, and I respected the fastest man in the world being Canadian, and I’ll respect the leader of the free world being a Democrat.
A lot of people here in Provo are downright scared of what's going to happen. It makes me sick. Not only do they not hold faith in the limits our constitution places on government, but also a lack of faith in the role of Americans as the Bloodthirsty Capitalist Pigs of the World. This country has had Democrats in the White House before. Some were successful, some were not; all of them had job approvals higher than George W. Bush’s present rating (but none as high as his rating right after 9/11: ). The country has been through hard economic times with both Democrats and Republicans--it happens. The country changes every once in a while. What type of change can we expect in 2009? A couple more liberal supreme court justices, a few liberal reforms here and there, I can’t say for sure, but it won’t be as radical as those who live in fear believe. He can’t get universal healthcare; privatized healthcare has congress in their pocket. He’s not going to raise taxes on the rich--heck, he’s already reneged on that issue three days after election. He’s liberal, but he’s no idiot.
People start quoting scriptures from the Book of Mormon and the Revelation of John, and I think of them, too. “Have mercy upon the rulers of our land; may those principles, which were so honorably and nobly defended, namely, the Constitution of our land, by our fathers, be established forever” (D&C 109:54). This isn’t the prayer we use just when a Democrat is in the Oval Office, it’s for all our leaders at all times. Let faith replace doubt and selfless service replace selfish strivings. And hope replace fear. “Whosoever belonged to my church need not fear” (D&C 10:55). As we “lift where we stand”, as the good Saints did in California this election, and serve our fellow men and our God, His perfect love will sweep out all fear (1 John 4:18).
I don’t think he’s the antichrist. I don’t think he’s America’s savior. I never had the light shine down on me and give me an epiphany that I should vote for him. This Land has a history of failing to live up to its “Promised” status, and who‘s in charge usually bears little sway in the way most Americans live their daily life. So why should it now?