Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of our traditions...

...ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.

I went to an AA meeting as part of my Substance Abuse course. The title of this post is the 12th tradition of Alcoholics Anonymous. A good reminder to everyone that they are all alcoholics and they are all struggling, no matter how long they've been sober, whether it be 1 day, 1 week, 1 year, or 10 years. The only way to stay on the wagon is to stick with the program.

It was incredible. The part that hit me hardest, and really prepared me for what I was about to experience, was the very beginning. The moment of silence for those still struggling to tackle addiction alone really struck a chord. The people with me in the room had surrendered to the disease and were not alone on their road to recovery. I immediately thought of all the other alcoholics who were still battling their addiction alone, or maybe just succumbing to the pain of the disease, spiralling down to even lower lows. The appropriate tone was set for the rest of the meeting.

John, the meeting facilitator, had asked me before the meeting, not realizing it was my first or that I didn’t know whether or not I was an alcoholic, to read the opening statement. I gladly agreed and went ahead with the reading. I was recognized as a visitor with a few others and given a little card and a hug from the group secretary. The handing out of the chips was awesome. Another visitor who sat next to me got his 30-day chip. I thought that was really exciting. The beginning must be pretty tough, and he was really glad to have come that far. He was well dressed and carried with him a big binder of work documents, and on the outside mesh pocket, I could see more chips. This wasn’t his first thirty day chip, and it might not be his last, but every time must be a great success. The next was a six month chip to a guy my age. That was really exciting as well. Half a year—what a great accomplishment. The last chip was a one year mark by a wonderful woman who lost her children to child services a year ago when she was using cocaine, heroin, and alcohol. She got a place in drug court, started the AA program, and now she’s been sober for a year and just got custody of her kids back. This was really exciting. Most people there knew here and congratulated her on her great work. I felt so happy for her.

The rest of the meeting I really just felt happy. The reading from the big book was in chapter one, and then people shared their experiences with the group. Because the chapter focused on Bill W’s road to alcoholism, most people talked about how similar their own stories were to Bill’s. You just substitute their name with Bill’s or Manhattan on the rocks with bathtub gin and it was their story. One man was the designated driver for some friends of his, and they were going out that night and he told them, “I’ll catch up to you later, I think I can still catch a meeting.” What an awesome social network for people who need help. As I searched for a meeting to go to I found so many options, and I’m so glad I found the one I did and got to hear and meet the people I did.

John was the last one to share, and what he said was this: “Tomorrow would have been my five year mark. I got to that fourth year and thought it was going to be smooth sailing to five years. Relapse does happen.” I felt so badly for him. He was so disappointed with himself, it seemed like he was angry that he let himself relapse. It must be hard. One of the men there announced that he was three days sober, and we were as excited for him as we were for any of the people who just got a chip. Every day sober is a great achievement because the disease they carry has ravaged their entire life and they continually need support not to get caught up in their past.

I left feeling so happy for everyone there. I wanted to be a part of the group, I wanted to make the achievements they were making and support others who were progressing, but I know that I cannot. The time came when John asked for volunteers who have completed the twelve steps to raise their hands to show others who they can talk to about being a sponsor for their own recovery. I realized then that I could never be able to help the way they can help each other. I felt so good, yet sad that I could never go back. I don’t have anything that I can really share with them. I can’t help them, yet they make me feel so good. That night I prayed for each of the people I met by name and thanked God for the wonderful experience of having met them.

Len Bias

Many people today do not recognize the name Len Bias. When I say that, I mean most people who are younger than 40 and perhaps some of the people older than that who were old enough at the time to recognize what happened to him but have forgotten him over the years. I think it's enough to say that he has been generally forgotten, yet his impact as monumental as it can be as a college basketball player.

So who was Len Bias? Len Bias played basketball for the University of Maryland. In 1986 he won the ACC Male Athlete of the Year-an award won by Michael Jordon two years earlier. In fact, his name was often said in the name breath as MJ's (remember, Jordon was only a youngster, he wasn't yet what he is now). The fact is, though, he could have been.

Well, what happened, then? He was drafted by the Boston Celtics with the #2 overall pick. He was about to go play with Larry Bird, Kevin McHale, Danny Ainge, Robert Parrish and an aging Bill Walton, who had just won the NBA finals, and would lose the next year to the Lakers. But two days after the draft he went out with some friends and never lived to see the next day.
The killer--cocaine. Today when we hear that someone OD'd on cocaine what do we say? "He had it coming to him," "Didn't he know that drugs kill," and "How irresponsible." Do you know why we say these things? Because of LEN BIAS.


Nobody knew how dangerous drugs were--or that they were even harmful, really--until Len Bias died. No one said "He had it coming to him," or "Didn't he know that drugs kill," or "How irresponsible," because no one was under the impression that drugs had that type of effect on the body. Until a perfectly healthy super-human athlete died people were unaware of how thin line drug abuse actually was to walk. The Celtics' GM said about drug use, "The dangers were not as clear then as they were the day after he died." The death of Len Bias revealed to the nation the dangers of cocaine, and the inquiry as to the dangers of other illicit drugs. This is the positive influence of his death. People began to realize that they couldn't play around with drug use, that it could kill you. As the graph shows, a spike appears in the years directly following Len Bias' death (1987-). Drug use significantly dropped as a result of a higher risk perception.

I don't know exactly why risk perception went down again and why drug use went up, but I do know that most children are educated that drugs are addictive, harmful to your health, and can ruin your life. This is at least partially a result of the aftermath of the death of Len Bias. I don't know, maybe the story no longer hits a soft spot in anyone today. Every drug related death we see we ask those quesions I posed earlier, and the people who still take the chance seem to believe that it could never happen to them. People are unsure as whether or not that was Len's first try at cocaine, but it's very likely that he had not used much before, and he most likely didn't remotely think he would be dead from using it that night. It's not just the heavy users that are at risk, it's the casual, social users, and it could even be the first timers.

Here's the link to the first youtube installment:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AHFUUkrg2VA

Why Avatar did not win Best Picture

I finally saw Avatar last weekend, and that is why this is not a very timely subject. If I would have seen Avatar in the theaters I would have titled this "Why Avatar will not win Best Picture."

BIG DISCLAIMER: Of the 50 award winning films for best picter since 1960, I have seen just 12. That's 24%, not a lot. I have seen just 52 of the ~250 nominated films, verifying that I have seen about 20% of the best films of the past 50 years. This also discounts my ability as a film critic, so don't take this as some professional opinion, it's just my uninformed opinion.
Like I was saying, Avatar was never in position to win Best picture. I liked the movie, I liked the premise, the politicalization of the film, cinematography, whatever, it was a good movie. As I left the theater, though, I realized that I had seen this movie before. In fact, the movie that Avatar mirrors won the Academy Award for best picture back in 1990-Dances With Wolves. Let's compare the two


Avatar
-Man goes to a faraway planet to take a job
-Man befriends the native people, is loved by them and pairs off with one of them
-The people the man works for decide to destroy the natives' home and the man is seen as having betrayed his own people
-Man leads redemption attack against his people and wins
-Lives forever as leader of the natives on the faraway planet





Dances With Wolves
-Man is stationed in the middle of nowhere as a fort for the Union
-Man is lonely, befriends the natives, becomes one of them and pairs off with one of them
-While he is living with them the Union comes to his fort and expand operations; in a return visit he is taken prisoner
-Natives attack the Union wagon transporting the man and free him
-Lives on the run because, as we know, the natives got kicked around for years until we found the most desolate parts of the nation to send them there to build casinos.

Another movie built on this same premise wasn't even nominated for Best Picture (The Last Samurai, 2003), but thanks to James Cameron, blue people and not hiring Tom Cruise, Avatar was nominated. I actually like The Last Samurai better than Avatar, and I liked DWW better than the both of them. You know why? For the same reason DWW won and Avatar did not- the guy you root for--the one who is superiorly overmatched by the antagonist--loses. Think DWW. Think Rocky. If your hero loses, yet lives, and you leave the theater in tears, then you've really done something there, and that's what we're talking about in in those two examples. With Avatar, though, the impropable had to happen in order to make the movie worth it, because if the blue people would have lost, I probably would have thought, "Well, they didn't really have a chance because you don't mess with Stephen Lang, I mean, did you see him as Stonewall Jackson in Gods and Generals?" This was a fantasy movie, and fantasy doesn't win unless it features hairy feet and a Dick Cheney look-alike (See LOTR-2003). So that's my reason. It was based on an old theme but adjusted for the audience to see the good guys win even though they had absolutely no chance.

Drug Court

The Utah justice system has an arrangement called drug court that acts as a substitution for probation and prison time. The program takes one year and the individuals go through detoxification, substance abuse programs, drug education classes, community service and continual drug testing. If at any point the defendant tests positive for drugs preceding a regular court date they will be removed from the program and placed in prison. The defendants could also face minimal prison time for failing to report for work diversion or not finding work while in the program. The program is a huge success, boasting just a 10% recidivism rate of those who graduate, compared to 70% of drug offenders outside the program.
I know all this because I am in a substance use and addictive behavior class right now. As a requirement for a 'field experiment' half the class went to drug court today. I'll tell you what, I didn't think I'd see a couple people I actually knew. First my uncle came in escorting the chain gang from Bluffdale (The defendant sitting behind me said that he was a pretty cool guy, but that his partner was a goon). Three walked in, one got released, yet three still left. One of the defendants failed his drug test, and was sentanced. Go to jail. Do not pass GO. Do not collect $200. These people walk a thin line, but for anyone who has felt the strong arms of addiction, it's all part of the game.
Leaders in the church do a great job at describing addiction. James E Faust said, "Some addictions can control us to the point where they take away our God-given agency. One of Satan’s great tools is to find ways to control us. Consequently, we should abstain from anything that would keep us from fulfilling the Lord’s purposes for us, whereby the blessings of eternity may hang in jeopardy. We are in this life for the spirit to gain control over the body rather than the other way around." Addictive behavior changes the way the body functions by creating a chemical imbalance in and structurally changing the brain. The effects of this create a dependency on the drug not just to experience a high, but to support normal body function. In effect, living by someone else's rules is no new thing for addicts, they are controlled by drugs just as much as by the justice system.
The other person I knew there was the brother of a friend of mine. I had met him only a couple of times and he's a nice kid, but he made some bad decisions, as you probably guessed when I mentioned that I saw him at drug court. His was the first case to be heard. I recognized his name when it was called and watched as the judge applauded his good efforts and sent him on his way. Many others went up and tested negative for drugs for the week, so they were given some praise, words of encouragement and another court date. It's good to see that people are progressing, that they're taking the right steps. I know his brother cares for him and wants him to make better choices with his life. It's gotta be hard to see someone you love fall to addictive behavior and have such a tough time getting out. Words from President Faust, "Any kind of addiction inflicts a terrible price in pain and suffering, and it can even affect us spiritually. However, there is hope because most addictions can over time be overcome. We can change, but it will be difficult." The road is not easy and it cannot be trekked alone. Outside the church they refer to it as a Higher Power, but in the church's 12-step program, it specifically says you need faith in Jesus Christ to help you overcome the bonds of addiction.
I'm glad that the justice system has found a way to increase successful rehabilitation of drug offenders and I hope its success (particularly in the recidivism department) will influence lawmakers to throw a little more money in that direction. It's an investment worth making.

The Real Blindside of Blindside

I recently saw the movie The Blindside and thought it was great. Loved the story, the football (the coaches, more specifically), loved it. Today in my professor's end of semester lecture she used a report on the real story of The Blindside to teach the importance of being resilient and dreaming big. When I saw this again, I really stopped to think about what really happened. A wealthy family saw a poor kid in their private school who had no parents or home and showed him the most Christlike love possible. This kid had a GPA of 0.4 when he was enrolled into the private school and could not participate in sports of any kind, much less feel competent enough to be at such a school.
What is the lesson that is being shown us in this movie? When we look past Sandra Bullock's blonde hair and the cute kid who portrays SJ we can see a bold reality in America's school system. Despite what the message of the movie seems to be, wealthy people want nothing to do with poor kids being in their schools. Lets face it, the really rich will put their kids in a private school protected from the children of parents of lesser socioeconomic status. Those who can't afford that make sure to buy a house in an affluent neighborhood where property taxes are good enough to make a school up to their standards. Those who can't afford such real estate settle for whatever they get.
There are other students like Michael. Maybe not all of them without a change of clothes, maybe not all of them homeless, maybe not all of them lacking parents or guardians, but they're still in rough shape and they're still in equally deserving need of love and kindness. They have just as much right to the opportunities a good education provides.
A more cynical account (my first reaction to this realization, actually) would remark that maybe if we put more poor/disadvantaged kids in private schools they could actually receive help from others, but until they are seen they do not exist. There is no more Christlike example of love than that which the Tuohy family exemplified in their kind gesture. What this movie tells me, however, is that no one will help if those needing help are not forced into their environment. And even then those who help will likely be ostracized/criticized/judged by others, just as Leigh Ann was in her lunch group. That's the cynical account.
I have calmed down since then, though, and found the root of the problem, and it's not in where we live. The wealthy can live in gated communities and send their kids to private schools, that's fine. The middle class can move into whatever subdivision/community they care for, that's fine. We can't go around blaming each other for the inequality and injustice that exists in the world/nation/education system--nobody feels good when they're being blamed for something and they're most likely to refuse to cooperate. The answer lies in how this movie made us feel and how the Tuohy's feel. Because this feeling about helping others is what lies beneath education policies and the people behind them.
Now don't get me wrong, there's not a policy in the world that will do what the Tuohy's did for Michael Oher--under these circumstances only the most charitable acts of kindness and love can resolve their unfortunate situation. In Michael's case, as in many others, what is needed most is a loving parent who cares for the child and motivates the child to excel in school and in life. Where parents are present but this attitude isn't, students are just as likely to fall through the cracks.
As you have probably correctly thought to yourself, What can we do to change a parent's attitude? Well, I'm sure programs are out there, and some of them may even work, but on the whole they probably aren't that effective. While I don't think we can make everyone's situation better overnight through education funding reform I do think that there are measures that can be taken to give children a less damning sentence when they walk into their first grade classroom. Say what you will, but funding for schools based on local property taxes has brought about 'Savage Inequalities" that are the "Shame of the Nation" to use the words of Jonathan Kozol. Starting kids off in low-quality schools represents a bleak future, no different than their situation at home, that will follow them for their entire life.
So yes, I'm calling for equal funding for schools on a state level. I know that the recipie for capitalism calls for some to win, some to lose, but must some be born to sing the blues? Blaming the parents gives us a scapegoat, but while goats make us feel more self-assured about ourselves the children remain disadvantaged. And a goat does nothing for a disadvantaged child.
I mentioned earlier that the answer lies in the way people felt as they watched the film. What people felt as they saw the kindness of the Tuohy's change Michael's life is not conducive to the founding priniciples of this country despite our open practice of capitalism and less-open history of corruption.
Giving children an equal shot at education certainly qualifies as an effort to secure the blessings of liberty for ourselves and our posterity. 'We the people'-although written by the educated elite of a young America-does not strictly refer to them only. It refers to all of us and each other's posterity. It is unconcerned with the education level, socioeconomic status and first language of the parent. It is the root of the American Dream as first defined by James Truslow Adams as one's ability to succeed in "attaining the fullest stature of which (he) is innately capable, and be recognized for what they are, regardless of the fortuitous cirumstances of birth or position." This is the culture of America, and it is the driving force behind the idea of providing free, appropriate public education to every child in the nation. And if the government is going to provide a service to its people, it should do so if not with the intent of providing an equally good service to each individual, at least an equally funded one.
So there's the real Blindside. I enjoyed the beginning of the movie when Sandra Bullock walks you through LT ending Joe Theismann's career. Sooner or later the huge disparity in education is going to sack us, but who knows whent that will be. Until then we can look past it blaming the parents, teachers and curriculum.

The Eye of the Tornado

Today I walk in the eye of the tornado. Soon I'll pass through and get caught in the whirlwind once again. I had quite the week getting in two 12+ page papers and another couple of big assignments that took a lot of time putting together. And today I breathe. But not for long. Three finals and a final draft of my capstone paper will keep me busy for the next week. Not to mention working a few soccer games and going back to the MC.

Jaime Escalante

For those of you who have never seen Stand and Deliver, you really ought to. Jaime Escalante took a job to teach math in an Los Angeles high school that was failing state standards back in the early 80s. He believed the kids would rise to the expectations of their teachers an offered a calculus class for students so they could take the AP exam. I highly reccomend this film to anyone who hasn't watched it. A couple of weeks ago I watched it while I was doing my homework and found myself welling up with tears at the end, just like every other time (except the time I watched it my Freshman year in Spanish class. No place for tears there).
This past week Jaime Escalante died as a result of bladder cancer that he had been fighting for some time now. We have lost a great teacher, but his legacy will continue as long as there are teachers out there who stretch the potential of their students and help them realize that they have the ganas to succeed. I doubt I'll end up in a High school comparable to that of Escalante's, and because I don't teach a subject matter that anyone cares about taking a standardized test for, I won't ever be praised for raising test scores. But the impact Mr. Escalante made on his students wasn't just that they got a couple of college credits. He changed the entire reason his students were there at school. Every year more and more kids took calculus from him and more and more kids passed the AP exam. He changed the culture of the school into one where students saw what they could become and had the ganas to be more than people on the outside believed they could be.