The Last Action Hero's Big Gamble

Okay, so I'm the coach of a baseball team that is spending a lot of time in the basement. We have an extremely large fan base who put a lot of money into our mismanaged bureaucratic organization. Because of this erroneous financial management we needed to save some money and cut funding to all parts of the system. The most important organization affected by this is the farm system. This has been a major problem and has left our team struggling to find and develop young talent on our own. In short, every team from A-ball to the pros sucks.

Obviously a cut would only extend our slump, so the owner of the franchise decided to bring more funding into the team by using revenue from his sub par Las Vegas casino.

It would still be too much of a cut, but the owner has projected that more people will go to his casino with more aggressive marketing, raising its revenue.

Do I feel comfortable about this? Don't bet on it. Is it real? No, of course not; baseball is much too competitive for risks like that. But Arnold Schwarzenegger doesn't think it's too risky for California's feeble education system. In his newly proposed budget for the Golden State, the Kindergarten Cop put the handcuffs on funding for students of all ages. But don't worry, we will fund it with more revenue from the state lottery.

(The following is a monologue from the Governator)

Oh, I know da projection is big. We will market the lottery more aggressively and add more fun scratcher games no one can win. You don't believe me?!?! Get Down! More budget cuts coming! Don't believe me? Grab my hand! Follow me into a dependency on the vices of human nature to support the education of young minds? Come on! Get in da chopper! (This is the part where you look at the flaming helicopter with only two and a half rotors left, shake your head and move to Idaho)