The Longest Day

Paul Anka, Henry Fonda, John Wayne, Richard Burton, and Sean Connery had a long day back in '62. That's what I feel like now. Christmas takes a lot out of you. A very taxing holiday. My mother told me that it's even longer with little kids, although I won't have to worry about it for a while. Courtney and I tried to inflict slight heart attacks to my parents by unwrapping a little infant onsey from her to me. My mom was speechless, as I tried to be, too. Coach had just got on the phone with Todd. Couldn't fool them. Oh well, it was worth the try.
All in all it was a great day with the family. From breakfast, to sledding, to Cool Runnings and Horton Hears a Who, to doing three puzzles, it was a fantastic--howbeit long--day. A fantastic Christmas. Last night my mom read us the Santa Bag story which shows us hidden meanings of Christ's birth in the commercial and pagan symbols of Christmas (stars, trees, wreaths, ornaments, candles, bells and candy canes). It's good to remember that we're doing this out of respect for the birth of the Savior of the world. It's nice to be with family when celbrating the birth of he who brough salvation to the family,

Another Day to Celebrate America

I heard that the average American will eat 4,500 calories on Thanksgiving day. How else could we possibly celebrate a day of thanks but through gluttany? As Jim Gaffigan put it,

"Thanksgiving, we didn't even try to come up with a tradition; the tradition is we overeat. 'Hey, how 'bout for thanksgiving we just eat a lot?' We do that every day. 'Oh...what if we eat a lot with people who annoy the hell out of us?'"

And eating with family makes many Americans more thankful for their independence from family. And what's the last peice of the puzzle? Beating the crap out of people: football. We watch football, we play football, we talk football--football is the day. These are the founding principles of our nation- independence, gluttany and explosive entertainment. Definitely a perfect fit as a national holiday in our blessed football.

So let's express our American patronage by eating, fighting and tackling this weekend. Such is the spirit of the day, and the spirit of our country.

10-2 Part III

I went to the Holy War yesterday thanks to an awesome friend who bailed me out on a night I was getting kicked out of the house anyways. Courtney was going to kick me out for the night so she could throw a bridal shower for Hilary, and Andrew came over to take me away to Salt Lake where we would brave freezing temperatures and BCS-thirsty Ute students waiting outside for ticket sales to open the next morning. It was a great night at the front of a very, very, long line, full of hijincks and hackey sacks and obnoxious drunk guys yelling at people and breaking the tent Andrew's brother rented. In the end we all came away with tickets to the Holy War, and my anticipation was fulfilled this weekend.
Andrew and Hilary got hitched down in Manti Friday morning, and I saw them again Saturday afternoon when I got to Rice-Eccles stadium. Andrew, his brother Patrick and I painted B-Y-U on our chests, and in the midst of the student section cheered loudly all night long. In the third quarter, Max Hall did something useful and ran into the endzone to cut the Utes' lead to three, 27-24. We were excited, but some Utah fans felt threatened. Some of these plastered students came over to us to give us a hard time, and ended up starting a little scuffle with other Ute fans in the row below us. Security showed up to take the troublemakers away, and all was well, except while they were there Max threw another interception and Utah scored a short time afterwards. The fourth quarter only got worse, and we shivered our chins to our chests in shame, finally leaving when the clock hit 00:00.

We lost; but what an experience! A Holy War in the Utah student section, half naked with paint on my chest and good friends with me--what a night! A lot of people were disappointed with the game, I was, too. But let's face it, Max got rattled and blew the game, it's as simple as that. He's still a good player. We actually outgained Utah in the game and converted both 4th down situations. Before his five interceptions against Utah he had just 7 the entire year. But last night he couldn't handle the heat, and that's that. He had two big wins at the end of last season, but let's look at his performance.

Against Utah in last year's Holy War, Max was 17-40 with an interception and a fumble. This year he was 21-41 with 5 INTs and a fumble. He pulled off one HUGE play on 4th and 18 to make it all count and gain the glory in a game Harvey Unga gained 141 yards rushing on 23 carries. That's a big game for a freshman back. This year? He gets just 15 carries...and amasses 116 yards! That's nearly 8 yards a carry! To take a line from the great Keyshawn Johnson, give him the d*** ball! Our other brother in our Tongan backfield, Fui Vakapuna, gained 36 yards on four touches- 8 yards a carry! Max ran for a career high 42 yards on 7 scrambles. Hey Bronco, RUN THE FREAKIN' BALL!!!!!!! Sure Max fell apart and practically giftwrapped the ball for Utah defenders at times, but more blame needs to be aimed at the Offensive Coordinator, Robert Anae, bless his heart, for calling disproportionately more pass than run plays against a Utah team we've ran well on in the past. Don't get me wrong, Max DID flounder the game with his poor performance, but running on first down would have helped out a few times, too.

The TCU game was a straight up disaster, but Max put up similar stats, 22-42, but only 2 INTs and 6 times sacked. I'm not going to dwell on that game, but the situation was bad there, too. In 2006 we beat a ranked TCU team in their house on our way to the MWC title, destroying their season. And this year they did it to us. Same thing with Utah. In 2006 we came into their house and came back with a drive in the last minute of the game to win on a miracle play while time expired. John Beck’s greatness left some bitter tastes in the mouths of away teams that year, and it came back to get us now.

So Max Hall was exposed as the not-so big game quarterback he actually already was. The defense actually came out to play after the half, too, holding Utah on consecutive drives, but in the fourth quarter, Max just couldn't keep the offense on the field long enough to keep us in the game.

Our third straight 10-2 isn't quite as good as it sounds. Our 9 wins against Div. 1-A teams came against teams with a combined 34-70 record. We lost to teams with a combined 22-2 record. Only one team we beat ended with a record over .500 (Air Force). We played close games against Washington (0-11), UNLV (4-8), and Colorado State (6-6). What's up with that? We got what we deserved. Sure our offense is pretty incredible, but the defense let our opponents in the game nearly every time. We now prepare for an invitation to the Armed Forces Bowl against Houston, Rice or Tulsa of Conference USA. BYU fans will whine and complain about things, but let's face it: we're getting what we played for.

We're only the one's we've been waiting for if we sit around waiting forever like those stupid democrats did

I never was too into McCain. "America, specifically you dumb republicans who let him win the primaries in the first place, John McCain is a loser. He lost to the village idiot of Texas in the 2000 primaries, how could anyone expect him to succeed against a young, charismatic, eloquent, intelligent intellectual. The only reason I wanted to see McCain in office is to provide parity in our branches of government. But he caught some bad breaks (Sarah Palin was a good idea at the time, but I think most Americans would actually prefer Tina Fey, now) and failed over (First debate) and over (Second debate) and over (Third debate) again to convince America that he was a better candidate than his opponent.
I hate the Yankees. I hate them with a passion. But when they won the world series in 1998, they deserved it. Their team earned it. Their opponent, the San Diego Padres, did not deserve it. Barack Obama beat John McCain. He beat him in fundraising, he beat him in debates, he beat him in the popular vote, he beat him in the electoral college vote. Obama knew he was going to win weeks ago. This wasn’t a Rocky Balboa fight that traded head shots and combinations and ended in the last round, the result we saw Tuesday night had been on deck for a while. Now I’m not a Democrat or liberal by any means, but John McCain got smoked like Michael Johnson in that exhibition 150 meter race against Donovan Bailey back in 1997, and I respected the fastest man in the world being Canadian, and I’ll respect the leader of the free world being a Democrat.
A lot of people here in Provo are downright scared of what's going to happen. It makes me sick. Not only do they not hold faith in the limits our constitution places on government, but also a lack of faith in the role of Americans as the Bloodthirsty Capitalist Pigs of the World. This country has had Democrats in the White House before. Some were successful, some were not; all of them had job approvals higher than George W. Bush’s present rating (but none as high as his rating right after 9/11: ). The country has been through hard economic times with both Democrats and Republicans--it happens. The country changes every once in a while. What type of change can we expect in 2009? A couple more liberal supreme court justices, a few liberal reforms here and there, I can’t say for sure, but it won’t be as radical as those who live in fear believe. He can’t get universal healthcare; privatized healthcare has congress in their pocket. He’s not going to raise taxes on the rich--heck, he’s already reneged on that issue three days after election. He’s liberal, but he’s no idiot.
People start quoting scriptures from the Book of Mormon and the Revelation of John, and I think of them, too. “Have mercy upon the rulers of our land; may those principles, which were so honorably and nobly defended, namely, the Constitution of our land, by our fathers, be established forever” (D&C 109:54). This isn’t the prayer we use just when a Democrat is in the Oval Office, it’s for all our leaders at all times. Let faith replace doubt and selfless service replace selfish strivings. And hope replace fear. “Whosoever belonged to my church need not fear” (D&C 10:55). As we “lift where we stand”, as the good Saints did in California this election, and serve our fellow men and our God, His perfect love will sweep out all fear (1 John 4:18).
I don’t think he’s the antichrist. I don’t think he’s America’s savior. I never had the light shine down on me and give me an epiphany that I should vote for him. This Land has a history of failing to live up to its “Promised” status, and who‘s in charge usually bears little sway in the way most Americans live their daily life. So why should it now?

'Tis the Season

It is a great season for dressing up as silly things and getting away with it without anyone thinking anything weird about it. Courtney and I crashed the 6th Ward's Halloween party (I know we're married, but they're all our friends, still, and we're going to our own ward's party, too, so that ought to count for something). Here are some pictures of the great event.

We were Toad and Toadette--you know, from Mario

Erin and her roomates were Disney villains

We had a lot of friends get yoked into the Beauty and the Beast theme by Carin, who came as the Rose. My favorite, however, is Taran's interpretation of Cogsworth. People guessed things like Morpheous or Neo, but no, he's the clock. Carin made Lindsey's elegant Belle dress the day before, and Steve's Lumier costume was all Hilary.

Hyrum put together his robot in, like, two hours. An excellent job, wouldn't you say? He based it off of The Humans are Dead robots in the Flight of the Concordes video. It probably took them about two hours, too.

I'm Back, and I'm Married

After two back injuries, four weeks of the most demanding class I've ever had, working two jobs and somewhere in the middle of it all getting married and taking a lovely honeymoon in beautiful Monterey, California, I have found my way back to the weblog. There are issues to be discussed, people praise and people to harass, and too many people got off easy while I was on my big sabbatical.

While all that political, sports and religious issues need to be tackled, I should probably say a few words about my marriage. One word in particular comes to mind- spectacular! I reccommend marriage to all those who are going without right now. I know it's not easy to get here, but it IS possible.

Courtney and I (There are a number of these that will not need descriptions)

Us and my family

With Courtney's family

Showing what we've got--Dang, Hyrum

Me and my boys- Straight Studly

Taking a break to play the celestial sport with my groomsmen

Under the glares of the bride's maids

That's plenty of photos for now. See, it was great! You, too can have this happiness in your life, so try it--Marriage.

What brings us together today

What brings us together is what has been keeping me separated from posting. I feel no shame in that. But how does it do it? Marriage and weddings have such an effect on people. I'm just over a week away from tying the great eternal knot, and I've seen good friends do it recently, as well, and I've observed so much. Young girls giggling uncontrollably when they're all alone or talking with friends about hair, cake, rings and dresses or taking captive their intended man, the both of them becoming dead to friends of the old life they had. I've acted a little differently as well, I'm sure, but it's harder for one to observer their self than others. The prospect of being united with someone you love is a joyous outlook. Weddings are happy occasions, no need to bicker and argue over who killed who. How couldn't someone be so happy? But I'm in a different world right now, for Courtney and I have been engaged under the cover of the great bubble that is BYU, and look forward to a nice day for a white wedding; a nice day to start again. Our engagement is a little different than others in the world, and it seems to me to have quite an effect on the way we are and how we feel right now.

I called a good friend from high school last year and learned she just got engaged to a good man. When I learned the wedding was set for July, I was surprised at how soon that would be. She quickly reminded me that it was next July. Oh. Okay. That works too. It seemed like a long time to be engaged, but things are quite a bit different outside of the bubble.

Courtney and I officially began our engagement March 1st of this year and set a marriage date for the end of August. This was to be a long engagement by BYU standards. A number of my friends got engaged months after us and are already married. The average engagement at the Y is five months, in contrast to a national average of fifteen months. Most bridal magazines suggest a year for the proper planning of the proper wedding of a modern couple. And Courtney thought six months was a long time. So why is it that the engagements are so much shorter at BYU?

Sure shorter engagements may be responsible for more stressed-out bridezillas and a handful of unprepared youngins out on their own before they knew what they were doing, but there is a very reasonable explanation for shorter engagements. And it's not that everyone getting married is a sex-craved virgin who starts feeling immense feelings of intimacy in their first relationship after their two year mission, during which time they didn't even think about talking to any girls about anything other than going to church and reading the Book of Mormon. The average age of men at BYU when they get married is 23, two years after returning from their mission. That's not a very reasonable explanation anyways. The reason is this:

Couples at BYU will most likely be married in one of the church's 100+ temples, wherein the authority of God to seal on earth what will be sealed on heaven forges eternal bonds between man and wife, and extends to the children to be born into this covenant in the future, binding them as well together into their eternal family. This is God's plan for his children, that they receive these great eternally-lasting blessings and return to Him to live with their families in His kingdom. In order to enter the temple, one must be living the standards of the church, and keeping the covenants they made at the time of their baptism. One of these standards and covenants is to live the law of chastity. As soon as a couple commits to each other to be married, Satan will attack them with everything he can to persuade them to abandon their covenants and dirty their hands, to keep them from living worthy to enter the holy temple. The longer the wait, the stronger the opposition.

Yes, it may be harder to plan and organize a highly extravagant wedding, but these couples (including myself and my bride-to-be) aren't in it for the day. We do it for every day after the wedding day. Everything that happens outside the temple is just a celebration and only complementary to the main event, which is the sealing of two souls together for eternity.

Dieter F. Uchtdorf, then a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, said in a stake conference, "If you could be with your eternal companion right now, wouldn't you want to find them as soon as possible?" I could do things the world's way. Courtney and I could have moved in with each other and explored the possibility of living with each other every waking moment before deciding to be married. We could have made a mockery of a holy ordinance by trying to cleave to one another and become one marriage. We could have mocked the powers of procreation given to mortal man by participating in premarital sexual relations. We could have waited until I was done with school to even consider marriage as a possibility. But we didn't. We couldn't; not knowing what we know. We know there is strength in numbers. We know there is strength in the covenants of God. We know that God's laws govern happiness, not because he rewards us for doing silly tricks like abstinence, prayer and prohibiting tobacco and alcohol like dogs doing tricks, but because we know the laws are a prescription for natural happiness and a satisfying life. We love each other and we know marriage will bring us closer to each other and to God. It's progress. It's all about progress.

Say it ain't so, Steve!

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Steven Page, lead singer for the Canadian rock band, The Barenaked Ladies, has been arrested for possession of cocaine. Following a night of fighting with his girlfriend and getting totally plastered, she drove him to her place, where he pulled out a five dollar bill and the powder and went to work. The black and whites stopped in to see about a car door that was left open, and from the doorway observed the situation. Steven's words, "Yeah, it's cocaine."

Wow. Sixteen years into their existence, just after releasing an incredible children's music album, the band is finally stained. They were so clean- or were they? I'd rather not think about it. But lets take this time to look at other famous celebrity surprises.

1966-Sandy Koufax annonces retirement

His ten year career seemed too short for the amazing stuff he had.

1969ish-The Beatles dissolve

People cried for this one all around the world. I know I made tears in heaven over this one.

1987- Lawrence Taylor tests positive for cocaine

Hey, the man just won the 'ship, and instead of going to Disneyland like everyone else, he just wanted to get loaded. I don't know how disappointed anyone was, but it provided a great line for him in Adam Sandler's "The Waterboy", when he told some pee-wee football players, "Remember kids, don't do crack," in response to some dumb remark made by Sandler's character, Bobby Boucher.

1988-Ben Johnson's juiced in Seoul

Hooray breaking speed records! Boo steroids!

He wasn't the first.

And he certainly wasn't the last.

1993-Michael Jordan retires

Very surprising, very disappointing, and just plain out sad for those of us who based our entire basketball world around him. I don't know how I recovered.

1995-Michael Jordan returns from retirement- with #45!

Now I remember. He eventually wised up and changed the jersey back, and started winning championships again.

1997-Ellen Degeneres is gay

Whatever.

1998-Bill Clinton did not have sexual relations with Monica Lewinsky

That's not what she said...

1998 (Seven months later)- Bill Clinton DID have sexual relations with Monica Lewinsky

Wait, but didn't you tell us you didn't? I'm so confused!

2002-N*Sync breaks up

Finally!

2006-Lance Bass is gay.

I knew it!

2006-Brett Favre retires

Yeah right...

2007-Brett Favre retires. Again

Sure...

2008-Brett Favre texts the Packers GM and wants to play ball

That's what I thought.

And now this. Without stuff like this, what is life? Just me and people I know who actually care about me.

Heart, Reign O'er Me

The big show has come and gone. We dressed up, we hit concert traffic, we rocked out, and we drove home. What happened while we did all this was an outstanding show, and it deserves a recap.

Cheap Trick

Honestly, none of us really knew too much of their stuff. I have "at Budokon" but I'm really stumped after "I want you to want me" and "Surrender". We weren't the only ones there who weren't too savvy with our Cheap Trick, but I think we all were impressed. He busted out this five-neck for "Goodnight", but only played on two necks, as far as I could tell (from my seat in the grass). The guitarist tried talking a lot to make up for the lack of audience interest, but he sounded pretty bitter through it all was all. They sounded good, though, but that's all I can say.

Heart

Now, I know they have some really rockin' hits, but I never would have guessed, going into the night, that this would be such an amazing part of the show. They started the show with "Straight on to You" and shredded the guitar on "Magic Man" to really put the crowd in a good mood. They slipped into some softer stuff, playing "Dog and Butterfly" and "These Dreams", but then went into a synthesizer solo. I recognized the chords and went wild when I realized they were going to perform The Who's "Love Reign O'er Me". I went wild, and felt like the only one as I screamed the opening blood curdling "Love" with Ann Wilson. It was a great cover that did the real thing justice and rocked like it should.

They ended the set with "Barracuda", but of course came back for an encore. I was expecting them to play "Crazy on You" and go home, but Nancy came out with a mandolin and started plucking out Led Zeppelin's "Going To California". Great cover. Ann Wilson can sing like a man, and it's okay. It's awesome, actually. Those two covers really made the night for me. I was impressed.

Journey

Now for a band with a lead singer who's a man that sounds like a woman. Although the great Steve Perry may be done with the outfit, their new addition, Arnel Pineda, nailed the vocals all night long. It sounded like the greatest hits CD--but it wasn't. No, since Pineda's return the group has put together a newly released album, and played a few tracks from that. The new stuff actually didn't sound that bad, and I'm seriously considering buying it.

Aside from the promotional tracks, every song was a hit. From "Don't Stop Believing" to "Any Way You Want It" Journey rocked as the audience sang along, but my favorites were deep tracks "Stone in Love" and "Escape". Journey doesn't get enough credit for their rock-out abilty, what with ballads like "Lights", "Open Arms", "Faithfully" and "Send Her My Love", but Neal Schon can play that guitar. They certainly proved to be the main attraction, but left me a little miffed when they left without playing "Lovin', Touchin' Squeezin'". If not for their great altogether show, I would have left so angry. But I'm okay. Just not as good as I could have been.

Overall, I give the show 4 out of 5 guitars. Good game.

Freedom, Fireworks, and Fried Oreos

The fourth day of the seventh month represents an american legacy. Independence, gluttany and blowing crap up. These three rights are inalienable, and are available to all who enter the gates of freedom into the great country of America. The founding fathers wanted this for us. The great influencer of the founding fathers, John Locke (no, not the bald guy on Lost), described these rights as being life, liberty and property, and Jefferson like the phrase "the pursuit of happiness", but what they really meant to say were the three rights I identified.

1. Independence: We are all blessed with freedom in this great country. Freedom to vote, freedom to be an anarchist; freedom to worship the God of heaven and earth, freedom to worship Oprah; freedom to listen to Yanni, freedom to rock; freedom to be understanding and equal, freedom to join hate groups and burn crosses. And we can be as independent as we want. We can live independent of government subsidies or welfare checks; independent of a party line or government propoganda. Independent from each other; independent of ourselves. Yes, this is Freedom.






2. Gluttany: We can use resources like nothing else. And we do. Money? Can you say "National Debt"? Food? Yeah, we're obese. Gas? We guzzle. Energy? Anyone remember the "Rolling Blackouts"? Yep, America is all about gluttany. And what's not to love about that?






3. Blowing Crap Up: That's right. This country was founding upon destruction. Throwing tea off boats, beating the crap out of redcoats, and flipping off King George. The rocket's red glare, the bombs bursting in air, it all gives proof that are country is still here. As long as things are exploding, America is thriving. Some of our greatest heroes are the Chinese, Enola Gay, and Louis Feiser (who discovered napalm). Even anti-American Americans who protest gluttany, do it fine fashion, exploding Hummers. We love blowing crap up.

And thus, this is how it panned out for me. I went to a free hot springs, pigged out on bleu cheeseburgers and fried oreos, and watched an incredible fireworks show, followed by me exploding some stuff of my own.

God bless the USA

Live Music Rocks

I've been pretty pumped about this Good Morning Maxfield concert for a week now. Listened to their music online and even watched some Youtube clips. But when I walked into that auditorium tonight, it was entirely different. Live music is better than recorded music.

It was a great show, and they were followed by Ryan Shupe and the Rubber Band, whose music I had never heard previously. They were an older band- been on the scene for 12 years now, have had a top 40-hit and put on a show on stage. My goodness. They made an amazing cover of "The Devil Went Down to Georgia" inturrupted by some AC/DC and Metallica. Although most of their stuff was borderline country, they put on such a good live show that I actually didn't feel like vomitting. It was actually a straight-up great show I'd reccomend to anyone.

Live music makes the hair on my arms stand up. It can be amazing beyond all beauty. But it can also suck. But that's what you get when you ask rockin' bands like Foreigner and Styx to open for you.

Two more weeks until the Cheap Trick-Heart-Journey show. The anticipation builds.

Freedom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

With the season finally over, I found relief on the sunny shores of California. For three days it was quality time with the family, the ocean, and the boogie board. I was unfortunately joined by the sun, which did a number on my skin. I went to church today looking like a leper. I told people I was auditioning for a minor role in Jesus Christ Superstar. Unfortunately, with my moustache my ethnicity is mistaken more for one found south of the border than the Gaza strip, so the audition didn't turn out that well.

I know nothing of world event right now. I'll let it all soak in this next week. Until then, I have nothing to rant about. I do, however, have an exceptional review of the best album of the year. Who made such a thing? Why, Canada's finest, of course. The Barenaked Ladies have introduced Snacktime!, an album full of songs for all the kids. It is incredible, and I advise all to purchase not only the cd, but the storybook of lyrics (illustrated by keyboardist Kevin Hearn) as well. This link goes to the website where you can view the music video from the song "789" (it looks like it came straight from Sesame Street) and hear the song "Snacktime".

http://www.bnlmusic.com/snacktime/

This is a candidate for greatest album of the century. Search YouTube for their songs "Drawing" and "Pollywog in a Bog", which will come out soon, as well.

This is The End

Yesterday was the gap between picking in the South and the North (aka here), and today the Bings will begin to roll in. Yesterday we nearly ran out of fruit, but that won't happen again. It'll just keep on coming in untill one day it stops. And the next day we'll finish. But I don't have to worry about that for another three weeks.

Yes, this is the end. Not even close to the end of cherry season, but the end of life as I know it. I'll be in the shed for 17 hours a day. It will pass, though; all cherry seasons end.

The Last Action Hero's Big Gamble

Okay, so I'm the coach of a baseball team that is spending a lot of time in the basement. We have an extremely large fan base who put a lot of money into our mismanaged bureaucratic organization. Because of this erroneous financial management we needed to save some money and cut funding to all parts of the system. The most important organization affected by this is the farm system. This has been a major problem and has left our team struggling to find and develop young talent on our own. In short, every team from A-ball to the pros sucks.

Obviously a cut would only extend our slump, so the owner of the franchise decided to bring more funding into the team by using revenue from his sub par Las Vegas casino.

It would still be too much of a cut, but the owner has projected that more people will go to his casino with more aggressive marketing, raising its revenue.

Do I feel comfortable about this? Don't bet on it. Is it real? No, of course not; baseball is much too competitive for risks like that. But Arnold Schwarzenegger doesn't think it's too risky for California's feeble education system. In his newly proposed budget for the Golden State, the Kindergarten Cop put the handcuffs on funding for students of all ages. But don't worry, we will fund it with more revenue from the state lottery.

(The following is a monologue from the Governator)

Oh, I know da projection is big. We will market the lottery more aggressively and add more fun scratcher games no one can win. You don't believe me?!?! Get Down! More budget cuts coming! Don't believe me? Grab my hand! Follow me into a dependency on the vices of human nature to support the education of young minds? Come on! Get in da chopper! (This is the part where you look at the flaming helicopter with only two and a half rotors left, shake your head and move to Idaho)

That Moustache Feeling

Yep, it's that time again. I'm fitting in more and more around the cherry shed as my upper lip gets fuzzier. Hyrum showed me a clip from when the Tick got a moustache, and this morning before work I watched the entire episode on youtube. Once the Tick has his moustache, he becomes so confident. His words:
"Rugged, self assured, adult- these are the words that describe a man with a moustache. It says to the world that I’m a man of action. Ah, but action tempered with maturity- like a fireman, or somebody’s dad. Most of the world’s leaders have moustaches."

But the moustache isn't always the best thing to have around. His superhero friend Taft told the Tick about some of the downs to having a moustache.
"Sometimes it catches on my sweater, or gets stuck in the zipper of my jacket."
Now, the Tick's moustache was actually a secret government operation from the 70's made to counter the Russian Beard. The moustache flew the coop, though, in search for it's love (which happened to be the Russian Moustache, in the end). Jim Rage began a search for in when it escaped, and it all comes down to the exciting ending I suggest that you watch. Tick's final monolouge puts it all together.

"So the moustache was in love. That’s cool. Love is cool. That moustache was cool. But it didn’t make me cool. Jim should have been cool. He had a cool eye patch, a cool RV, cool gadgets and traveled the world with three vivacious exciting talented beauticians. I may have lost my moustache, but I’ve gained, well...I’ve gained nothing."

Why Am I Back Here?

Every day it seems the expected ending date for cherry season backs up. The 10th. The 15th. The 21st. The 26th. July 1st. I put in 76 hours last week and I've done 41 in the past three days. I look at what I'm doing around the packing shed and wonder to myself why I ever came back. The answer is found in the eyes of the workers.


Last year I gained many friendships with the laborers in the packing shed. All of them are hispanic. Talking to a floor lady, I asked, "How many of these people have papers?" "None of them!" was the answer. I talk to Jaime the mechanics about the struggles of working awful hours and not having time to learn english. I talk to Asucena and Yajira about the expensive price of living and needing to work so much to pay their bills. I talk to Claudia, who tells me how great a job this is compared to McDonalds. It doesn't require education or experience or even that you speak english, you get lots of hours, and you get a couple of months off between cherry and apple seasons.


But I don't talk to them a lot about that. I mostly talk to them about their lives, what they do and what they want to do. Some people would like to do more, but some people are happy there. A lot of them have children that go to school and speak English and are making progress. They love their families. Most of them watch soccer, all of them listen to music and dance and have a good time. They're fun. And they're interested in me, too. Wonderful, simple, humble people. I came to love them last year, and they're the reason I came back.


The full-time production managers and marketing guys are different. When they talk it's always some vulgar, ill-mannered crazy story. They talk about hunting, fishing, drinking, womanizing, criticizing, etc. I'd rather not be there for that. My friends are the Mexicans.


They're why I came back. They make me smile. They're an inspiration to me. They ask me about Courtney and my wedding and how many kids we want to have and what I'm going to do after I graduate. I love speaking Spanish with them, too. They help me learn more, too, and always want to know how I learned it so well and want me to help them learn english. Now the white guys aren't all horrible people- even the worst of them is a good person, but there's a concern for the individual that isn't there with them. The language barrier promotes the Marxist idea that laborers are just an extension of the machine to which they are assigned. People are worth more than that.

The Weblog

I used to have a newsletter that I sent out every week to all my friends and relatives. It included a little about me and a lot about current affairs in news, sports and entertainment. People enjoyed it, it was funny, writing it was the highlight of my week. But as I decided to spend more time with my schoolwork, the newsletter took up too much time, so I had to set aside my newsletter writing until I learned to balance things better.

Time passed and the requirements of education only became more time-consuming. Recently, I have found myself reading weblogs of friends, and have decided that they can be quite entertaining. So I said to myself, "Hey, Keith. You're entertaining. Why not entertain?" So I joined the ranks and created my own weblog.

You may notice that I use the root of the word 'blog'. My public relations professor used it when we had a class discussion on them and I thought it was funny.

The most difficult part so far about the weblog was choosing a title. For me, it had to be music related. Not sports, not politics, but it had to be music. I had many ideas, all of which were taken. It came down to a select few. I really liked "Elementary Penguin Singing Hare Krishna" (from I Am the Walrus), but chose "The Misty Mountain". Misty Mountain Hop by Led Zeppelin seems to be about getting high in a park, then having a run-in with the police and "packing my bags for the misty mountains where the spirits go now/over the hills where the spirits fly". It is a reference to the misty mountains of J.R.R. Tolkien, also known as Hithaelglir. It is where Bilbo found Gollum and got the ring. But for the purpose of naming my weblog, I refer back to track 5 of Led Zeppelin's fourth album, Misty Mountain Hop.

Sometimes we need to go to where everybody knows your name, but sometimes you just need to go over the hills where the spirits fly. When you read my posts on The Misty Mountain, you might have just left a run in with the police or one last dance with Mary Jane, or maybe you're going on the High Pass with dwarves on the Quest of Erebor and get captured by goblins or taking the Redhorn Pass with the Fellowship and turn around because of a blizzard summoned by a Benedict Arnold of a wizard who sold his soul to the evil one. Maybe you'll come away with a precious, and you just can't pass up an opportunity like that.